Bunny Day and Other Politically Correct Holidays

I just read an article about an elementary school principal in Alabama who informed her teachers that students could participate in an “academic egg hunt” but the eggs were not to be called “Easter Eggs” in the interest of religious diversity. She even went as far as saying that “Kids love the bunny and we just make sure we don’t say ‘the Easter Bunny’ so that we don’t infringe on the rights of others because people relate the Easter bunny to religion.”  To which I say, “Really? No Easter Bunny died on a cross for my sins.”

Apparently, this principal received ONE call from ONE parent who asked about religious traditions being practiced at the school. So to make that ONE parent happy, she decided to make everyone else upset.

Perhaps this wise woman is up to something. Maybe we could come up with new non-offensive names for all holidays to make that ONE parent happy. Here are my suggestions:
  • Good Friday = Just okay Friday
  • Easter = Egg Day or Bunny Day
  • Earth Day = Worship the Earth is Fine, but Worship the Creator is Crazy Talk Day
  • St. Patrick’s Day = Any Color, but Mostly Green Day
  • St. Valentine’s Day = Heart Awarness Day
  • President’s Day = World Leader’s Day
  • Independence Day = Living Life on Your Own Day
  • Mother’s Day = Female Day
  • Father’s Day = Sperm Donors Day
  • Halloween = Harvest Day
  • Christmas = Winter Holiday
  • Groundhog Day = Rodent Day
  • Thanksgiving = Gratitude to No One in Particular Day
  • Flag Day = Sheet on a Stick Day
  • New Year's Eve = Old Year's Night
  • April’s Fool Day = April 1st

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